Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
