I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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