Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
