the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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