I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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