just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
