So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i think i have herpe
just one?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
