like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
