BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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