I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
