hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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