But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
