Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
