Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
