I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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