ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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