She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
