Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
