So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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