Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
