Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
