So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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