i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
