Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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