I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
