he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
