Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
