one two three fourrrrnication!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
