thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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