She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
