Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
