big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
