Already got asked if we're dating
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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