Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
