i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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