i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
