good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
