So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
