My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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