i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think your dad took our porno
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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