I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have fence marks all over my body
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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