I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
