I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
