If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
