There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
