Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
