I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
