i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
