it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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