When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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